Dead Honeybees = Dead United States Cuisine Experience?

“U.S. beekeepers in the past few months have lost one-quarter of their colonies — or about five times the normal winter losses — because of what scientists have dubbed Colony Collapse Disorder. The problem started in November and seems to have spread to 27 states, with similar collapses reported in Brazil, Canada and parts of Europe.”

According to an article by the Associated Press, this abnormal drop in bee populations could result in a world-wide food shortage, which, in turn, would result in the American diet being forced to consist of bread and water.

No matter how this plays out, someone is going to get what they deserve. I clearly remember an incident during my childhood where I watched a scrawny little foreign boy (indian or asian, one of the two) throw stones at nests of bees. Regardless of how many times he got stung, that little kid went on destroying bees nests. Sure, the bees sting, but what could be more vengefully-gratifying than screwing over the entire human race for all that damn Raid they had to endure?

Honestly, though, this seems like another over-played story by the media. No body knows what’s going on. Bees are dying. They’ve died before. This isn’t the first time in histroy that bees have disappeared in massive numbers, and despite those declines we as Americans continue to eat ourselves into record-breaking obesity.

Let’s consider, though, what might happen if we did have nothing to eat but bread and water? Well, dinner would be easier to prepare. All our problems with obesity would be solved. The average life expectancy would rise. Etcetera, etcetera.

I wonder if there would still be food vendors… Can you imagine going to the movies and grabbing a bucket of matzos? TGI Fridays might change its menu to be completely bread based. I’m sure some delicatessen bread restaurants might even open. Regardless, we would still be paying $40 for some crappy pre-made meal that some highschool-dropouts “cooked” in the”kitchen.”